First Day of School Fears
Anxiety Preschoolers -
Their are so many cases of fear when it comes to children and their first day of school. Especially for children who don't speak english very well. This is natural but it does'nt have to be that scarry for a child, your child if you plan in advance.
Preschoolers and fear
If your thinking you have one of the few children that are afraid to go to school for the first time then you are not aware of what many parents go through when the first day of school comes around. A preschooler is showing normal signs of fear when doing something for the first time including being around hundreds of kids and ne adults.
Remember when you taught your child about "Stranger Danger", and now you are sending them off for a good part of the day with strangers. Of course their going to be afraid as you have literally programmed them well. Now that they have gotten to the age of a Preschooler its time to teach them that there is nothing to fear from teachers and other kids and that their day will be filled with new and fun things.
The Anxiety, Stress, and worry your child shows is for most temporary and best of all for those parents like yourself even these conditions can be modified with a little work before that first day of school arrives. I will suggest several books for you to get and read with your child. When reading to your child take your time and let them look at the pictures for a bit. Point out the items that look the funnest and happiest to your child. Show them the children smiling in the book, point out anything that is positive so they can associate that with the experience they will have. Visual aids work great and your compforting voice can do alot to easy their worries and fears.
The active imagination a child has at the ages of 3,4,5, and 6 often lead them to having fears of many things they are not certain of such as: Dogs that approach them even though the dogs tail is wagging, crawling bugs that are to close for compfort to them, Loud noises they are unfamiliar with, A dark closet or even being afraid of whats under the bed. Their fears can be so strong that their imagination fills in the rest as shadows become monsters, the air condition kicking on is a monster running through the house, or the creak of an old home makes them think something evil is comming to get them.
A child fears getting hurt, you getting hurt, death and dying, pain and the unknown. All children tend to grow out of it eventually but you can be proactive and help them through their tough situations. You are their source of strength, their teacher, and hero. You are the one most likely to help them defend themselves against the unknown. Use that in anyway you can and alleviate their stress and anxiety.Eventually you will help them feel secure about these new situations they are going through and they will be just fine.
Tackling your preschooler's fear
Be aware of how your child feels and try to understand and see it from their point of view. Never react without taking a moment to think about how to handle it. Often parents will yell at their terrified children when theres nothing to fear. This is so wrong, really think about it if you were terrified and someone was screaming at you. The fears they have maybe nothing to you but to them those fears are so real. Talk about the fears and then show them and use a comforting voice to show them there is nothing to fear. Talk about things you use to be afraid of especially things they would think is silly. Let them know it is ok to be afraid of new things for the first time. Try to find out what their true fear is and help them to identify it. They maybe thinking they will never see you again.
If you try to convince them their is nothing to be afraid of or fear at all they will most likely not believe you. So it is best to let them know its ok to be afraid but they will be alright. If a childs afraid of crickets then pick one up in your hands and pet it, hold it, show them it wont bite. It is simple things like this that can ease a childs fears.
Having books to read through with your children about their first day of school that are designed to kind of break the ice are very helpful. In fact it is not only helpful for the child but also for you "The Parent".
Refusing to go to school-
When a child refuses to go to school it maybe very hard for you to deal with. Think about it before the situation arises so you can address it without yelling at your child. Sometimes introducing your child to a new student from the same class can help. Talk to the teacher and find out if one of the moms is willing to set up a play date. Chances are your child will want to see this freind again and if going to school is the only way you'll find their fears knowing they have a friend at school will diminish.
Parents Fears-
I know my fears as a parent was how to deal with the situation. Worrying about how I would react and having a child screaming bloody murder at the top of their lungs. The other thing I feared was seeing my baby growing up and going off to school.
Separation Anxiety 2 Year Old-
When a 2 year old senses his mom or dad is leaving them for a little bit in a childs eyes you might as well be leaving forever especially for kids in the 2-3 year old range. It is important to choose the right person to watch your child such as a relative for the first time. Someone the child knows and who will be able to handle long periods of screaming should be the ones to watch your child for the first time. Separation Anxiety is hard for bot the parents and the child but with some planning, a little work, and some book reading together with your child you will prevent this from becomming a big problem.
If your child starts screaming do not grab to hold your child otherwise you will be rewarding them for screaming. Instead blow kisses and go on your date without worry. This is a normal child reaction and there is nothing you can do other then ignore them for the uncomfortable period of time before driving off. If your mate wants to forget about the date and go back to the child "Dont let them", otherwise you will have this behavior for years.
A good babysitter will have books, toys and videos ready, maybe even a sweet treat. The best way to calm down the screaming child is to get them to focus on something else. Talk to your babysitter before hand and make sure they are ready and understand how to deal with the situation. If you go out on a date and the sitter calls every 15 minutes then you obviously chose the wrong person for the job.
Their Fears-
Remember their fears are so incredibly real and horrifying but sometimes they must face them so they can learn. By facing their fears without mommy or daddy to grab them and give them security every second of the day they will learn not to be afraid of of things that may seem silly to you. Their fears are a part of being a child, growing up and learning. If you help them to learn before they have to face these situations then their transition into school, being babysat and etc.. will be easier and less stressfull.
Mothers Fears-
What does'nt a mother fear when it comes to her child, her baby, her little helpless toddler. Mothers fear everything and anything as they are designed to be overprotective of their offspring. Often it is the Mom who has the anxiety of leaving her child and not always the child having the anxiety.
A husband, friend, or family member should understand these feelings a mother has and help them to stop being so over protective. An example is the "fear of Crib Death". In this case mothers will have a tendency to have the baby sleep in their bed. By far this is unsafer then having the baby sleep in the crib as one of the parents can roll on top of the baby and suffocate it or the baby may fall off the bed and get hurt. Having a child sleep in your bed is unhealthy mentally as it can effect a Husbands and wifes relationship.
Parents With Fears-
Parents will always have fears about their children getting hurt in some form or another. It is of course natural as we protect the ones we love especially are kids. We have to let a little that protection go year after year because they are growing up and we have no choice. Still there are those who have Anxiety conditions that often effect the child or family because of their worries. Imagine being a teen and not being able to go on a date. Or maybe playing in the band but having parents who wont let you go on the field trip because of their fears.
I'm not totally against controlling your kids, in fact you should have rules in place to help protect your children including gettin home at a certain time, letting the parent know where your at and with whom, keeping phone contact if a child is going somewhere else. As far as giving a cell phone to a child I say you must be crazy. Thats like unleashing puberty as if puberty was a Sail to catch a Typhoons wind. If your going to give a child a cell phone you better get one you can monitor and control. If they text then put a rule in place that you can check their texting anytime you want otherwise your babies will be having babies sooner then you think.
Are there books for my Child?
There are several books available at very reasonable costs. Understanding the anxiety and fears are both needed by you and your child so when purchasing a book make sure it is written more for the child then for you as visual aids will be used in a childs book that they desperately need. Also the books at thsi level will be simple enough that you can even understand them. (just Joking")
Simpler is better when you first start reading about subjects you are unfamiliar with. If you feel you need more info then see about buying an anxiety book that is written more for an adult but dont be reading that to your 3 year old. Check this link out to see some helpful books
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