Cherish the memories you have instead of focussing on their death
Family Death and Emotions
"Cherish the good times and reflect on those special times you remember"
My Grandmother's Death
Most of my memories of my grandmother come more from my childhood, but those memories are still clear and vivid. She was always direct but loving, thoughtful to others as she put others before herself. She was strict when it came to punishment but at the same time she rewarded you with kindness and awesome cooking. She was the type of grandmother that could scare the crap out of you when she yelled at ya and she put you in your place when you were bad.
Here I face the loss of the only grandmother I had left and I feel guilty. Guilty for not calling her often enough or visiting her like I should have. She has been so good to me over the years but I have been somebody who neglected her and did not know really how special she was when she was here. I took her for granted and I'm not the only one.
We are all guilty of not being there for the people we love when they get older. Seems it's the American way to avoid those who are older and in pain, who whine and complain, and who often need assistance. Other countries keep their elders close and value their wisdom and stories, yet we tend to not go out of our way to make sure their last years are joyful.
My inactions cause me stress
I am a victim of my own inactions as I sit here and am engulfed in guilt and anxiety. It's not her death that causes me anxiety, its the fact that I realize that I was never there for her. Never called her on her Birthdays and never called to thank her for the cards she would send.
This is like a reminder to start thinking of others including my own parents. I need to visit them more often and try to create memories with them before it's too late.
Death of a Family Member should remind us of who they were
Yes it is sad when someone you love dies. Death and birth go hand in hand, and you can't have one without the other. We all have been lucky enough to win the lottery called life and in the end we want to live forever. We want the ones we love to always be around but thats not possible. Take the time you have during a family members death to talk to friends and family about memories you have of them. Recall the old days. times they laughed or cried, achievements they have had, and how they touched your life forever. Celebrate their life instead of mourning their death.
Personally if I had died I would rather be hovering around people who talked about me and the old days instead of having a group of people crying and causing a river of tears. I would want to be missed but also remembered for who I was and how I touched individuals.
Read more about a father not being around
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