Managing and Dealing with Child Fear
All children show fear from time to time in their life and some fears maybe stronger then others.
As parents we hate to see our children be afraid and terrified so what do we do? There are several things we can do but one of the first things we need to do is recognize when they have a normal fear verses when they have an extreme child fear. An example of extreme is such that they scream at the top of their lungs terrified, or maybe their so terrified that they freeze. So what can you do to help manage their fear or panic attack? "Get as much information as possible so you do the right things for your children".
Many children handle fear different ways and over time the things they were afraid of they manage to grow out of. Some of us don’t though as we find ourselves looking under the bed or checking in the closed before we go to bed. As I and I’m sure you would like is your child or children not to carry these fears for very long especially all the way to adulthood. There are steps you can take now to prevent that from happening and you and your child can tackle those fears together.
When you give aid to your child and teach them not to be afraid you increase the bond and trust you have with them. By sticking by them and tackling this fear together you will find your child will be closer to you then you can even imagine. Being a part of their fight against fear is an excellent way to show your child how much you love and care about them.
Your child counts on you for the good times and the bad.
Try not to get upset or yell at them for having some of these simple child fears. Many of the things that kids are fearing today can easily stem from the movies and violence they see on a regular basis. TV in my opinion along with video games have gotten so out of control and unfortunately many parents don’t seem to care. They let their children watch just about anything they want to and often watch it along side their kids.
Horror movies have become allot more popular and with their popularity an increase in children’s anxieties has been seen. Children are having more nightmares then ever and some children are becoming numb to the violence all together. This is very worrisome and if you think about it and the amount of teen and children’s violence increasing you can understand why. Of course child fear is on the rise with all of this going on in their lives. Hollywood and the movie industry as a whole have rated these movies but it is up to you to follow these guidelines or injure your child for life.
Why is your Child Afraid of?
If your child has fear of something then you should know why and what it is that is causing them to be stressed out. Is it a one time deal or has this been going on for awhile? Ask your child about why they are afraid and try to see how they are looking at it. Be apart of your child’s life by becoming more in tune with their thoughts and feelings and discuss everything you can with them.
As a good parent who cares about your family you need to be the one raising them and the one who knows them inside and out. Take the time to do this and help them to have a life without fear so they can live without any kind of anxiety created from fear or stress. Certain fears and conditions need management so get the needed information to be able to make decisions on a parental level that is sound.
It helps if you can look back to your younger years and think of some of the similar fears you had back then. Imagine it as your child imagines it and show them complete support and love when an incident may occur. Fathers are often tuff on their young boys but it is best to be a loving dad with concern then a yelling dad who calls their child names. The way you react to their fear is so important so think before you react or speak and as you support your child and fight their monsters side by side they will soon be able to eliminated that fear that they have.
Children Have a Big Imagination which Boosts their Fears
Your child is more then a sponge when it comes to things they see and experience. Sometimes as their mind is recording they have no idea what is real or imaginary. So after you watch a horror film with a monster landing on earth that is killing people your child will see this as very possible and very real. Even words and sentences which suggest you may do something but in reality you wouldn’t are taken very seriously.
Kids need to soak in new material and lots of it but the more positive material you feed them the more positive they will become. If you teach them to love, be honest, and play good with other kids then that’s what they will do. If you teach them to be ruff and wrestle other kids then guess what…That’s what they will do.
Many men want to have very strong tuff kids especially when it comes to their boys. Yeah they want them to be smart too but given the choice there are many who would choose strength over brains. I find that hard to believe but it’s the truth. Me, I would rather my children be very intelligent with opportunities for a wonderful and memorable future, Wouldn’t you?
Children and Being New To Fear
Children have eyes that are new to the world and everything is usually taken to extremes, negatives and positives. So be aware of what their experiencing and seeing at all times. If they stay over a friends house make sure you talk with their parents and let them know what is ok to watch and do. Just become some parents seem like great parents doesn’t mean that they are. Many parents leave the kids to watch any movie they want and play video games that are so incredibly violent you might not even believe they exist.
Also make sure when your child stays at someone’s house that they do not have firearms that are around.
Children may see these as toys and play with them if they get their hands on them. Good communication can avoid possible disasters that may come about so don’t be afraid to ask a million questions if needed.
Children see Everything even imaginary Fear
When you yell at someone such as your wife or husband something as simple as an argument can cause your child to imagine and fear many things. They may imagine that their the cause of the problems, or that you will get a divorce like one of their friends parents, and so on. Try never to argue in front of your children because their imagination is very strong at such a young age. Remember they are still developing when they are young and everything you do or say can effect them for years.
Fear in a closet
What is it about that silly dark closet that cause an anxiety, stress or fear in a young child and sometimes even a teen or older. Darkness, especially pitch dark areas tend to get the imagination on a roll. So a dark closet can mysteriously appear to come to life as shadows of shirts and objects almost look like there moving to tired eyes. With thoughts of imaginary monsters hiding where they can’t be seen many children go to bed in fear. Often a simple night light will help them get over it and they will grow out of the darkness fear with time.
You may want to help them look under the bed and in the closet before they go to sleep. Showing them there is nothing to worry about will slowly put their minds at ease and before you know it they will stop looking. Also if you close the closet door often they wont even think about anything that could be in there. As they get older the fear should slowly slip away and they will learn the difference between imaginary fear and real fear.
Scare the monsters away!
Take advantage of your child’s fears and develop courage in them so they can conquer their fear. Pretend you are knights of the crown and use fake or plastic swords and chase them out of the closet or from under the bed. Teach your child in an imaginative way to thwart off the bad guys and monsters. This by far to me is the best way to help them as you make their fears become more of a game or fun. You will find them looking forward to opening the closet as their red cape seems to wave in the imaginary wind and their plastic sword scares off those cowardly monsters that are to afraid to stay around such a brave young knight.
School Age Fears
Children who are in school already often have fears that are more based on relationships and thoughts of divorce between parents who argue. They often think or have a fear of dying, not waking up in the morning, drowning, health concerns and issues, fear of being yelled at, and many things involved with danger. School age children are more likely to develop phobia’s at this point and time in their life so it is best to take notice of any problems and concerns. Know your child as you are the specialist of your child. It is so important for all parents to know the strengths and weaknesses of their children and to work on the areas that need some assistance both physically and mentally.
Teach your child about the imaginary fear and let them know that its ok to be afraid but explain to them about their imagination and how wonderful it is sometimes but how it can make things, simple things appear to be frightening or highly with highly exaggerated danger
How does a Child go from Fearless to Fear?
Children experience a slew of things everyday, from being at school to playing with other kids and even from movies and video games. As harmless as a game or movie may seem it can actually be very damaging to many children. Today’s movies and video games offer extreme violence and when a child sees this it may appear to be ok at first but a child’s mind may see it as something that may happen to them.
For all of those parents who refuse to censor their kids programming, games and friends I can only pray for you and your children. I think it’s sad that many people leave it up to a child to decide if they are going to watch a horror movie with blood and gore or maybe even play a video game that is very violent. These movies and games shows your child things their minds are not ready for and may even make them numb to certain fears. See some fears are good such as being afraid of a gun, or having the thought of getting hurt bad if you get hit by a car. Fear helps protect all of us but imaginary or wrongly induced fear can cause stress, anxieties and conditions.
Name Calling and Fear
Help your child don’t put them down or call them names. Managing child behavior instead of just reacting to it will bring you closer then ever. Bullies call names, and as an adult you need to understand if your child needs help then yelling at them makes the problem worse. Not only will they be afraid but they will learn to dislike you when you bully on them. Sure your children will always love you but as they grow older how do you want them to see you? I certainly think it is best to shower your kid with love and guidance instead of yelling and name calling.
If you call your child names they will most certainly be stressed out, upset, feel badly about themselves and possibly develop a disorder or anxiety because of it. Put yourself in your child’s shoes when it comes to the particular fear they have. Show them over and over again that fear is normal and a good thing but the imagination can sometimes be very powerful. Show them that their fear is imaginary over and over again. Even though the fear is real in their mind you must in a positive way teach their mind that nothing is hiding in the closet, or under the bed and etc….
Weather and Storm Fear
1) Fear of Lightning
A child sees a devastating light in the sky that is almost blinding can either trigger a fear or trigger amazement. Not all children will see it the same way. Blinding flashes of unknown light can cause fear and an uneasiness in a child and may even stress them out. This is normal and as they get older this fear should go away as they are unharmed each and every time.
Try not to talk to kids about lightning striking people but do let them know the basics of lightening such as not to stand by trees, and to safely and calmly go indoors during a lightening storm. Let them know that they are safe indoors and that lightening wont come in the house and hurt them.
Teach them about the power of nature but try to get them to see how cool it can be. Count together from the time the strike occurs till the time you hear the thunder. You may even want to purchase and read a book on lightening together but don’t buy the one that tells about people getting struck or killed please.
2) Fear of Thunder
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, of course this should put the fear into a child. It is very loud and coupled with lightening can overwhelm a child with fear and anxiety from the storm. Hold them and comfort them and let them know they are safe. Talk about 4th of July and fireworks and give them an example of when there is loud noise and they are not afraid. Let them see lightening and thunder as an amazing show of light and sound and teach them the basics of safety when watching. In other words don’t let them go outside to watch or climb on top of the house to get a better view.
3) Fear of Tornados and hurricanes
So you watched some news or even a movie on tornados and now your child is afraid of high winds and warnings that may come on TV. Well of course they are afraid and now every time there is a storm they will think about tornados and high winds and the dangers that go with it. Explain to your child about storms and the likelihood of a tornado even getting close to your house. Tornados are a frightening thing to think about during a storm so don’t encourage more fear when a storm is happening instead give comfort when needed and make your child feel safe.
Being Afraid Is OK
If people had no fear whatsoever then essentially more people would be dying each day or getting hurt because they had no fear. Fear keeps us from jumping off bridges, walking through traffic, crossing the busy interstate, driving through red lights (unfortunately not everyone is afraid), jumping in the water before we learn how to swim, fear prevents us from petting that growling dog, and fear keeps us from doing dangerous and stupid things.
Fear as you see can be a very good thing as long as it is not blown out of proportion. Soldiers in Iraq, though Brave are also feeling combat fear which allows them to take precautions to survive. So being afraid is ok and that’s what you have to teach your child or children. Let them know the benefits of fear that they experience but at the same time help them to lower the fear that they feel or express on certain things.
The Dentist Fear
As a kid I remember going to the dentist for the first time and was not afraid till I sat in the chair and started looking around at all the visually frightening objects in the room. Though the Dentist was nice and talked to me calmly he did put a needle into my gums several times. I was scarred out of my mind and to top that off he started drilling with a tool that made a high pitched whine.
Can you blame a kid for not wanting to go back? Of course not, Dentists are very frightening as their equipment makes them seem like they will cause you harm. there are many dentists that mainly handle children and do much better with making the visit less painful and less scary. Your child does not need to be stressed out or develop a Dentist Anxiety or Phobia. To prevent this try choosing a more appropriate dentist who will make your child’s visit more rewarding then terrifying.
Fear Public Speaking
Are you afraid to speak in front of a group of people? Many people have such a great fear of talking and being the centerpiece in front of a group of people. This fear produces some of the most uncomfortable behavior such as : Trembling, Sweating, Body Shaking, inability to speak loud enough or clear enough, can possibly cause person to freeze, and overall make it so the person develops a phobia or anxiety against speaking in front of people.
The best way to avoid Fear of Public Speaking from happening to your child is to get them involved at a young age with something such as theatre, or plays, or anything that might put them in the limelight when they speak. The importance of being able to command a group of people can make a big difference in their career choice and available choices.
Feeling the Fear
We all have felt fear and we all feel it in different ways. Often the fear that is felt causes us to act in ways that we don’t like and most of the time until an incident happens we may not know exactly how we would react. It is important not to look down upon yourself or child when you discover a new or terrifying fear.
Much of the time when it first happens we have little control over it so nobody she be called names or be scolded for being afraid. Instead embrace the fear, understand it and try to find a way to become more comfortable with it. If the fear controls you in certain events or situations then replay the even and try to face that fear over and over again. Facing fear is the only way you can overcome the extreme reactions you may have.
Fear Thought, and terror
From time to time we all have had thoughts of fear and have felt terror in our lives. I remember climbing a ladder and when I got to the top I couldn’t climb down I was so afraid. What started out as a little fear grew into extreme terror that almost caused me to fall. Fears of this kind are very bad and will only get worse over time so take the time needed to tackle it in baby steps. It is always amazing to me how the mind works in its own way and takes nearly complete control away from us.
Kids with Clown Fear
Several horror movies used clown in particular to frighten their audience. Clowns are suppose to be friendly and fun and often act silly or goofy. To a child a clown up front is so different from you and I that it can instill terror in their minds. I have seen and heard children scream at the top of their lungs as soon as a clown got close to them but when the clown was at a distance they were just laughing and having a good old time.
The same goes for children and Santa Claus, as kids love the idea of Santa but when put on his lap they get freaked out by this massive size red stranger. Before putting children in front of something new try and see it from their eyes and realize that they are small and everything they see is huge and larger then life.
Fear of God is an odd thing
We teach our kids that God is Great and God is Good yet we then tell them if they are bad then they might go to hell. Honestly do you really think your father, your Lord, would send you to hell meanwhile he asks you to forgive all the sinners? Like a father, God is forgiving and his love for you is unconditional.
Teach your child this and make them see just because someone is all powerful doesn’t mean that they would not have a heart. How could anyone fear the Lord or Jesus after reading about him and how he was to those who wanted him dead. Now I’m not sure in your beliefs about God but one thing I would ask you as a parent is, Would you send your child to hell if they were bad? Of course not, and God is more loving and forgiving then you could even want to be.
What is Your Deepest Childhood Fear?
The Deepest Fear For me is the thought of something happening to my children, my family, or the people I love and maybe even public speaking. For others it maybe fear of death or the thoughts of how they would die. I know that burning in a fire would be the worst way for me to go, or maybe even falling to my death. You hear people talk when in times of fear or possible harm that everything slows down and they recall many details about what happened. This is a big reason why being burnt alive is one of my very deepest fears.
What is Fear Success?
Having the right amount of fear without being terrified from it is what I would think success would come to play. Achieving a victory over past anxiety and stress causing fears would also be an achievement. Your success is dependent on you and facing the problems, worries and concerns that your mind deals with. If there is a fear you have try and conquer it but do it safely.
Or some people have a fear of succeeding and having new responsibilities they may think they can't live up to.
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