Love Anxiety Performance and Sexual distress
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Help improve your Sex Life with your Husband or Wife. Find out more about your partners Sexual Anxiety.
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Having a sex performance anxiety?
Sex disorders when it comes to performance can keep a man down or may keep a woman from having an orgasm. Many times it is in the mind as a person worries about being good at it or being judged by their partner it leaves them śA little Limpś, so to say. They believe something will go wrong and instead of getting into the romantic or hot feverish mood they become saturated with feelings of failure or a mental state which prevents them from making love.
They have developed a condition which has become almost a barrier or force field from them having and enjoying sex and love. Often they suffer from not having an erection, or maybe they might even go to fast making it a less then a wonderful experience. Sometimes it could be just the thought of being small or not being able to satisfy their partner that induces the actual problem making love.
Performance anxiety is a term but it doesn™t describe for all what the problem is. It has become a very general term that covers all aspects of performance issues. It™s not a term that is used medically but it does imply a problem that happens when sexual intercourse is not satisfactory because of the issues of worrying about something that may go wrong causing less then enjoyable love.
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Any of the Anxiety Books
can aid you in this area as all the books are designed to retrain your mind to gain control. Your mind is your most powerful tool and until you learn to train and focus your thoughts you will be susceptible to negative triggers. We all feel weak at times and as we get older we allow our mind to weaken. Its the same with ones body, as we have the ability to stay healthy but we tend to relax more and eventually open ourselves up to physical and mental illness. I know you've seen many people in great shape mentally and physically that are much older then you. Why not be in that same great health as them by reading and learning.
Do I have a Sex Performance Anxiety?
Well you may or may not have a sexual performance anxiety. You have to ask yourself several questions to try to narrow it down and find out if you have a medical condition of the mind or a physical one. Some men tend to have bouts of impatcy as they get older but usually it doesn™t last for a long time. Not being able to get erect can be caused by mental or physical conditions and we are going to concentrate for now on the Mental Aspect. Chances are the problems you have with sexual performance is in your mind and not caused by a physical disability.
1) Do you find yourself thinking of other things such as work, your day, problems at home, during or right before having sex?
2) Do you worry or get stressed out about the thought of being able or capable to satisfy your partners sexual needs and wants?
3) Do you ever think about your size and think that you are too small and worry about what your partner thinks of it?
4) Do you not get aroused mentally or do you have to try and make your mind and thoughts get in the mood?
5) Has your partner put on weight or lost a lot of weight making you feel less sexually attracted to him or to her?
6) Have you gained weight and are feeling less attractive and worrying about what your partner thinks?
7) Do you have a fear of not being able to get erect?
The questions above are the 7 basic questions you should ask yourself to help you find the problem you have with a possible sex anxiety. Read over the questions carefully and try to figure out if any of these apply to your situation at all. Stress and the constant worry before or after an encounter can śCause your Downfallť, śAbort Launchť, and leave you feeling less then tall.
What can I do About my Love Anxiety?
Relax, and stop thinking about it so much. We tend to put so much thought into sex and performance that it prevents us from achieving that which we want. Base your relationship on love and being together and not what happens in bed. Although sex maybe a wonderful thing it should be a very small part of your relationship and not the main thing that keeps you happy and together. Here are some things you can do to help rid yourself of a sexual disorders and try to get you back in the saddle again. To do this you have to be able to reprogram your mind not to worry so you can cure Anxiety that is controlling your activities.
1) Relax, Breathe, and clear your mind prior to any activities.
2) Give your partner a body massage and when you do think about how soft and beautiful her skin looks and feels. Use lotion so your hands easily glide over her soft and silky skin. Start with the neck and back and then go to the feet and work your way up. Take your time and don™t rush things, in fact have it in your mind that you may or may not make love that the wonderful thing your doing is the massage.
3) Smell her hair and neck while you rub or massage her. People often put out pheromones that are their to excite the other partner. Kiss the back of the neck and the ears but don™t stop massaging her. Understand in your mind that you are leasing her or him very much just by giving a slow enjoyable massage.
4) The butt is a very sensitive area so when massaging after most of the body has been rubbed with loving hands then move to and massage the butt cheeks and then up the back. Repeat his over and over in long and gentle rubbing as your hands glide up and down on your partner. Be prepared to massage your partner for at least 30 minutes or more. Now don™t go setting a timer or anything, you don™t want to be constrained to anything. Just relax, help your partner relax and enjoy.
5) If this doesn™t excite you yet its OK. The first time you do it try to do it without the basis or thought of having sex. You instead have a goal to satisfy your partner and it has nothing to do with your needs. When you start to see your partner get satisfied as you give to them without expectations it should trigger a sexual awareness and mind set. You should plan on doing this several nights a week with the thought of being a giver without expectations for yourself. This will not only relax you and eliminate stress and love depression, but it will make you loved and needed more then ever by your partner. Before you know it life behind closed doors will keep you standing at attention. Your partner will start doing things for you and your relationship will get better and better as you think about each other and not yourselves. śKeep the focus off sex and put it on LOVEť!
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
Being happy married and in Love, which should be Your first priority. "The feminist movement causes a great divide", when you realize what you lose many years of true joy and happiness have probably passed bye. A women's essence is underestimated and often ignored in pursuit to be independent and strong, but with a different look at sex and the traditional roles one can regain those beautiful magic moments in and out of the bedroom. A traditional relationship has many positives and can be beneficial for both the husband and the wife when it comes to love , sex and emotional needs and wants.
Confinement Anxiety and Sex
This book on Anxiety maybe just what the doctor prescribes to aid you with some of your issues on sex and anxieties pertaining to sex. If some one tells you that sex is not that important in a relationship then I think you should walk away and dismiss what they say. Sex actually helps to aid the strengthening and bonding between a couple and allows us to share more then just our lives. It is important to have good sex without anxieties and the understanding of how it helps to keep two people together.
Blow Him Away: How to Give Him "Mind-Blowing Oral Sex"
"Oral Sex," he wants it, seems to need it and you just avoid it like the plague. Often many people avoid it because they can't satisfy their partner nor is there any instruction manual to aid you, "Or is there"? This books main objective is to have you blow him away by teaching you what satisfies your man and helps to teach you by knowledge on how to improve your skills. When you pleasure you man there is no reason for him to ever look any further then you when it comes to love. When two people have been married for awhile and the excitement of sex has seemed to have worked it's way to a trickle then it's time to change that. Men don't cheat when they are satisfied and often it is their sexual drive that leads them into trouble or away from you. If you love your partner you will find a way to satisfy him and at the same time he will find a way to satisfy you.
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
You've heard of the book so maybe it's time just to get it and read it. The differences between men and womens needs are exposed and in doing so the anxieties of relationships can be eliminated by knowing how to give your partner what they need.
Why do I lose My Erection right before sex?
Some people just get in the moment and when they get out of it they find themselves not able to get back. There are several things that cause this without even having a condition or disorder. Being to anxious, feeling your not going to get any, thinking about something other then the moment. There are many things that can trigger it and if it happens again you nay want to take a mental note at what caused this.
Either a thought, a smell, a sound, or possibly she or he started talking. Usually there is something that contributes to your fallout and if you become aware of the trigger you can prevent it from happening.
1) Don™t talk during sexual intercourse
2) Relax and don™t worry
3) Enjoy the moment and think about the sensual things your feeling.
4) If all else fails then go back to śTHE BACK RUBť!
5) Don™t look at objects around the room, look at your partners lips, eyes or etc¦ Focus on the moment and what your feeling. It feels good so take notice of all the wonderful details and the warmth of the passion your having with the one you love. And if you don™t love your partner then get dressed and leave. Love is a very important part of sex, the older you get the more important it becomes to achieving an elevated passion and experience with each other.
I get turned on too early and then lose it, why?
You can™t stay in the moment forever. Sometimes when a person gets excited before hand he or she has a certain amount of time before the mind takes over. Sometimes it has a mind of its own and such is life. When you learn to control feelings and use your mind to it™s true abilities you can over come this. Any of the anxiety books, tapes and programs can help you learn how to reprogram your thoughts. The books offer a look into your mind and train you on control which can be applied too many things including those things behind closed doors.
End Result to cure your Love activities
If you just do for each other and try to please one another without thinking about the completion of, or how your partner is feeling , or what their thinking about and just focus on the small beautiful moments of intercourse then you should not have a problem.
Only commit yourself mentally to pleasing your partner and use whatever it takes to do so. When your mind set is that of a giver you will be able to relax and be extraordinary to say the very least.
Also when something feels good then think about how good it feels as you motivate your mind to want more. Pleasure each other but don™t put having an orgasm as the grand finale. Instead enjoy the moments of touching, kissing and caressing each other.
Pacing around like a hungry animal that isn't fed?
If your wondering why your having disorders and depression from not having sex it is very easy to explain. Most of the time this happens with a man and not as common with a woman. But that is not always the case as some women hunger for lust as much as any man.
Sex is often on a mans mind and he hungers and thirst for it as if he won't survive if he doesn't get it. It is a part of his chemical makeup that keeps him on the drive and also what keeps the human population growing.
When a man in a relationship is use to having sex on a regular basis and then is denied it for whatever reason he may find himself pacing, having a hard time sleeping, and quite often stressing out about it. This constant stress can lead him into developing a love disorder where it will actually make him sick and feel bouts of depression.
Men have a tendency of not being able to verbal communicate about their wants and needs and instead may act out, get angry or totally ignore his partner. When you are feeling the need sleeping with a partner who doesn't see these signs or chooses to ignore them can leave especially males to not feel loved or needed. Unlike a woman who puts more into the everyday little things that are done and said, a man tends to use love making and sex as a measurement of how their relationship is.
Signs of sexual anxiety usually sprout up with the fact that he has a hard time sleeping in bed with his mate or wife. Often staying up late and pacing around like he is ready to pounce on something. A man's sexual drive is strong and when it is not satisfied can cause some major problems with his physical and emotional health and also cause a relationship to deteriate quickly.
Cure for sexual distress and Love Anxiety is simply to be satisfied. Either by your own self or by the one who loves you. First thing to figure out is why are you not having any intimacy. Find the problems first and then try to correct it. Every marriage and relationship usually require intimate times and moments and it takes two to tango if your going to tango correctly, if you get my drift.
Stress About Sex
When it comes to sex there is often stress from many different variables. Not getting it enough, feelings of inadequacies, getting off to quickly, not getting off at all, and so on. Chances are that your problem has a cure and you just need to do a little troubleshooting to figure it out. You honestly can't keep taking care of yourself everyday and be satisfied with that, "Can you"?
Anxieties of every kind have triggers, so find your trigger and you can work on fixing the problem. We all think the problem could be medical and often we have the fear of finding out. Chances are if your a guy you just wait out the storm of anxieties and hope for brighter days. A good example is the millions of men around the world who wait for the problem to go away thinking they are strong enough to overcome anything. So with theses feeling usually there is no course of action to deal with the problem at hand.