Social Anxiety Disorder -
Can lead to Intense and stressful fear of social situations and being in public with other people. Afraid to interact, avoids parties and social gatherings, gets nervous easily, afraid to get involved unless its in small groups of very close friends. Afraid of failure, looking bad or foolish, overly concerned about their appearance and what people may think. May appear to be shy and rarely gets involved with extra curricular activities. Often has hobbies that there very good at that keeps them away from groups.
Social fear usually develops from not being involved with other people, groups, or activities. It can be frightening for those who are not use to groups of people and those who have been sheltered all their lives. Sheltering a child from the outside world can have many negative effects up on your child's social health and can cause long term effects an mental health problems.
Dating and Social Anxiety
Meeting someone new for the first time with the intentions to date them can really cause a n increase in stress and anxieties. Sometimes its hard for people to find a way to communicate and their fear of rejection doesn™t help it at all either.
Men tend to worry more about what their going to say.
Just the fact that they have nothing to communicate they have a fear of looking stupid or just coming across as a goofball. Being nervous also complicates the communication issue and many men will wind up not even able to introduce their selves. I have been there before many times and have watched other guys without fear just be able to get into a conversation with ease. I always felt they were talented, or maybe confident because of their good looks. I have learned that many women prefer someone who is up front and knows what they want. Unfortunately this is something I have to learn. Getting over my fear and anxieties from rejection so I can be happier in society.
Women tend to worry about what other people think.
Hair, Make up, nails, shoes, clothes, and just about anything else you can think of complicates a woman™s social life. Often a woman will worry so much about what others may think, or how she looks that it causes her to avoid social situations all together. I dated a sweet young lady for a spell and every time I took her out, minutes before we got to the club she started worrying about fitting in. Her clothes were not good enough, shoes didn™t perfectly match, or her hair was out of place. Something always came up and I soon found out later she had a social fear. She was able to deal one on one with a person but when it came to groups she was very frightful about not fitting in.
Fear of Calling someone new or leaving a message on the answering machine
Ok, she gave you her number and there you are at home with no plans and holding the paper in your hand. You may have started dialing it but hung up before it even rang or maybe even as it just started ringing. śWhy am I so afraid to call herť, you think inside your mind. The fear of coming across stupid, rejection and nervousness has made it impossible to even make the call. śSocial Misfitť, that™s what you have become and it might have developed from years of not being apart of society.
Could be you were married but had little friends you hung out with, and now your divorced and alone and feeling like you cant do this. You don™t give yourself enough credit and your fear and anxieties have taken control. How agonizing that must be not to be able to do what you want as your mind that is so afraid talks you out of calling or meeting that new person.
Striking up a conversation may be hard for you so if you let the other person talk and be a good listener you may find it easier to relax and enjoy yourself. Things not to do is act stupid like putting a coke straw in your nose or telling racist or sexist jokes. People are looking to have fun not be frightened by your actions. So relax, meet as friends and do an activity that is less stressful. Something that prevents you from having to stir up conversation like bike riding. If you know their interests ahead of time then you can do some research and be able to stimulate conversation with just a couple of words.
Be afraid, be very afraid because to cure yourself you need to face the fear and deal with it. Meet as many new people as you can but look at them as potential friends and not as boyfriend or girlfriend. When you do your homework and keep it lee stressful and put less importance into looking and acting perfect you will be able to eliminate your social anxiety.
I™m to fat and need to lose weight, I don™t have an outfit, shoes don™t match, well I don™t feel like having fun tonight, and that śI don™t have the moneyť! It™s amazing how easily we pay our bills but when it comes to enjoying life we get really cheap. No, Your not cheap, your just avoiding a situation that is awkward and may cause you to be a little afraid. Lets admit it, śWe are not the social butterflies we would like to beť.